One thing so simple and obvious, yet eludes is men, is the fact that we change and it is not necessarily a bad thing.
My Personal Evolution
I was reflecting back on my life today, especially contrasting my childhood and my adult life. It is fascinating to me how much I have changed. When I was young, I was a fidgety non-stop hyperactive, highly imaginative little bean pole of a runt, and I used to love entertaining other kids like I was, and now most kids get on my nerves. My daughter is the spitting image of me and how I was when I was her age, so now I am getting paid back for all he chaos I put my mom through, LOL! Now, I enjoy the company of adults and discussing scientific or theological matters.
When I was a kid I would much rather tramp around in the woods playing war, dressed in my fathers old army fatigues, or watch TV way more than I would like to have curled up with a good book. I multi-tasked by drawing and watching TV at the same time. I turned my closet into a rocket ship. I was obsessed with the big, burly action heroes who speak with their fists and renders the final verdict with his weapons, saving the day and getting the girl. I loved their one liners and how they always won despite impossible odds. G.I. Joe, Transformers, Rambo, Mr. T, the Fonz, Luke Skywalker. I guess I like them because I desired to be like them, big and strong and in charge, someone who was feared and respected and didn’t get pushed around. Because I spent much of my school days growing up as a picked on little kid because I was skinny and sucked at sports, I was the lil’ guy that was always picked last for any sport in gym class. I used to like the wild and zany, off the wall characters. Because that was how I dealt with the teasing and ridicule. Since I wasn’t good at sports and I wasn’t tough like the hoods, I threw myself in to drawing, drama and making people laugh. I liked Ernie way better than Bert, Michelangelo better than the other Ninja Turtles, the undisciplined carefree characters. Now don’t get me wrong I still do to some degree, but now many of Jim Carey’s movies and characters such as his annoy me because they are too over the top, and it drives me nuts to have things messy and out of order.
As I have aged and am now in my 30’s I find I have mellowed a bit and I find I am attracted more to the brainier and nerdier heroes. I found toward the end of my Turtle craze I began to like Donatello a whole lot more. I began to be drawn more to the characters that used brain over brawn. For instance, now, I like the brainy curly headed mathematician from the show “Numb3rs”, the skinny guy with the dark rimmed glasses on “Criminal Minds”. I think the perfect blend of the brainy and the brawny, and who is still my favorite all time hero to this day, is the Batman. Because he is so smart and so skilled, he has no super powers whatsoever, and yet the bad guys think he does. He’s just a regular guy but can hang and take out if necessary, all the supers in the Justice League!
I still like to watch super hero movies, and I like action, fantasy, and sci-fi movies. I still like to go tramping in the woods, I love to camp. But now my idea of a good time is sitting in the quiet of my office with a hot cup of coffee and a few baked goods surrounded by theological and scientific books, spending hours taking turns reading a chapter or so in each. I like head intellectual movies like “Dead Poet Society” and coming of age dramas, like the classic, “Stand by Me.” I am more of a dreamer, a thinker, a poet, an artist rather than a wild and crazy, live by the seat of your pants, stand up comic. Though every once in a while I will mortify my wife by doing something totally off the wall in public for a laugh.
I used to like the wild vibrant colors of the 80’s and the wild styles, I liked ripped jeans and T-shirts, and now I am a very woodsy kind guy, sticking to sandy earthy colors, cargo pants, sandals and cotton collarless shirts.
I used to exclusively listen to Metal, Thrash and Punk, and I still like it when the mood strikes, but I also like grassroots, acoustic folky kind of music, not to mention classical and Middle Eastern and Native American type music.
It’s interesting to take a step back and to see how even though you change, some of the old things still hang on, but in more of a mature, moderate fashion. To see how who I was has helped make who I am, to see that I am still evolving, still changing as a human being.
I think I have figured out why so many people get divorced now a day. I remember when my wife and I were married at 21. We were young, naïve, and carefree, and six years into our marriage it began to get a little rocky. I was bewildered, I was disillusioned. “This woman is not the same woman I married six years ago!” Then my higher self slapped me across the face a shouted at me, “Duh Einstein! Neither are you!” “That’s it!” I cried. We are not the same people we used to be, and why should I expect things not to change, not to evolve. Change shows growth and maturity, life would be quite shallow and boring if we as people didn’t change over the years. So my wife and I began to date again and learn each other all over again. And going into 13 years of marriage I realize ever so often we have to see that we have changed a bit, and accommodate for that. So what our tastes change? At the root we are still the same people we used to be. I can say that I still love my wife for the original reasons why I was attracted to her and why I married her in the first place, and she has said the same regarding me. If anything, we have improved upon the good that we first saw in each other.
So don’t fear your personal evolution, don’t fear change. Just make sure that the evolution and changes are for the positive and are for the better.