Men often feel, yet usually will not admit, feelings of not being like other men, or feeling of isolation and aloneness.
I am an Alien
Sometimes I feel like Mork from Ork, “Nanu, Nanu!” K-pax, or even E.T. If only people could see me as Superman, he’s an alien too you know!? Hey I’d even take Martian Manhunter! Don’t mind me; I’m just visiting this planet!
Psa 27:10 When my father and my mother forsake me, then the LORD will take me up.
Psa 69:7-9 Because for thy sake I have borne reproach; shame hath covered my face. I am become a stranger unto my brethren, and an alien unto my mother's children. For the zeal of thine house hath eaten me up; and the reproaches of them that reproached thee are fallen upon me.
Mat 5:10-12 Blessed [are] they which are persecuted for righteousness' sake: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Blessed are ye, when [men] shall revile you, and persecute [you], and shall say all manner of evil against you falsely, for my sake. Rejoice, and be exceeding glad: for great [is] your reward in heaven: for so persecuted they the prophets which were before you.
1Pe 3:14-17 But and if ye suffer for righteousness' sake, happy [are ye]: and be not afraid of their terror, neither be troubled; But sanctify the Lord God in your hearts: and [be] ready always to [give] an answer to every man that asketh you a reason of the hope that is in you with meekness and fear: Having a good conscience; that, whereas they speak evil of you, as of evildoers, they may be ashamed that falsely accuse your good conversation in Christ. For [it is] better, if the will of God be so, that ye suffer for well doing, than for evil doing.
I am a freak; I might as well have a third eye or an extra limb. Even those that hang out at Hot Topic and Marilyn Manson concerts think I’m a freak! I am an alien and a strange kind of stranger in many people’s eyes. Most people can’t tell if I am Muslim, Jewish, a Hippy or an extra from the movie the Devil’s Rejects. I get double takes from many, lip curls of disgust from the Paris Hilton types, the Vulcan eyebrow raise from Nerds and even from Trekkers themselves! Some parents even scoop up there kids when I walk by. I was in the car with a friend (true story!) and as we pulled into a gas station he noticed everyone was looking at us in his car. He said, “Why is everyone staring at me?” And he turned to me, and I being dressed like an Orthodox Jew, he said, “Oh, yeah because you are with me.” Then we both just started busting out laughing… Then we really did get strange looks!
I have been called, a wanna be, self righteous, a legalist, brainwashed, fallen from grace, an apostate, an enemy of the cross among other things, and even some which I am not permitted to write. I have been accused of thinking I am, “holier than thou” or “better than you”. Some may see me as a heretic, some poor soul caught in a strange cult, trying to straddle the fence, or trying to make up my own religion as I go. I have lost many friends because of becoming a Torah Observant Netzarim Jew and many family members grow silent when I am near and hold me at arms length. Yet I don’t care. That is the price you pay for being different, being part of a remnant, for sticking to your guns no matter what, and for not compromising the Truth.
Story of the Jew I guess. We have been accused of using the blood of Arab children to knead into out matzah for Passover, which is ludicrous because eating blood is strictly forbidden (Gen. 9:4, Lev. 17:14). Because we wear tefillin when we pray we have been accused of growing horns from our foreheads. We have been accused of owning and controlling the world media, boy, if that’s true I haven’t seen any of that money yet!
I take comfort in the verses I stated above. I know I am in good company, they called Yeshua (Matt. 11:18-19, 12:22-37) and his cousin Yochannon the Immerser (John the Baptist) (Matt. 11:18-19) demon possessed. So I take these curses as blessings and count it all joy (James 1:2-3).
I have noticed that out there we are few and far between, but we thrive in cyberspace. It let’s us know we are not alone. It’s comforting to find others of like mind. Many want to band together and run off and start a community. Some ask why are we so scattered out? After all, many of us don’t even have a synagogue to go to. Some go to a watered down Messy-antic church because there is nothing else, and some of us dare to go incognito to a non-believing shul and fear somehow we will be found out. Only few of us are fortunate to have synagogue of our own. But I believe G-d has allowed it and wants it to be this way for a time. For we are in exile and besides punishment for breaking Torah, we are exiled so as to be a light to the nations. We are to be like seeds, we are to bloom where we are planted and go where we are called, no matter how lonely it is. Hey, we may not have Paris, but we do have Myspace ;-).
Truthfully, we may be like Avraham and never see the full fruition of what we are trying to achieve, yet the Mishnah says we are not permitted to give up, even if we don’t finish it. We are like grass roots pioneers, spiritual salmon swimming against the current of the times. We will get the looks, and even sometimes the boot! But what we do makes a difference for those who come after us. Let us not be weary in well doing for we will reap if we faint not (Gal. 6:9)! Be encouraged, lift your head high, and keep plugging away, who you are and what you are doing IS making a difference whether we see it or not. That is a given, YHWH said His word will not return void (Isa. 55:11).